Lack of sleep = nonsensical shoe post

I have this one pair of boots that I love.  I bought them on sale last year.  They're kind of like Uggs except they are gray and the top part looks like leg warmers.  The inside is furry and it feels like wearing slippers when I put them on over my pants. 

I don't wear them very often.  I guess I feel that it's barely ever cold enough to warrant slipper leg warmers, but it makes me sad to see them sit in the collection of shoes by the door.  The other shoes are always coming and going, but my poor little fUggs (fake Uggs) never get invited out.  So when these last few rainy days came upon us and it began to get a little bit chilly I said, by George I'll wear them!

I put them on as I went out and about on Wednesday.  I enjoyed them so much that I found myself walking extra distances just to prolong the effect. Then I had a brilliant idea.  I was scheduled to work on a shoot all day on Thursday up in Thousand Oaks.  The weather was supposed to be in the 60s, and I was going to have be on my feet an awful lot.  What a perfect situation for my fUggs!  I'm not gonna lie, the idea of wearing them was the main reason I was able to get up at 5:00 that morning.

Let me tell you what happened.  One time when I was little I read a story that I think was in one of the Ramona Quimby books.  In it, Ramona loves her soft bunny rabbit pajamas so much that she doesn't want to take them off.  She decides to pretend she's a firefighter and wear her pajamas under her clothes to school.  At first she feels lovely and warm but then she overheats and gets sick.  That is what happened to me with my fUggs.

These boots, while great for quick runs to the grocery store, would not be recommended by Dr. Scholl for an 11-hour day standing up.  Not only did my legs cramp but my back started to ache and my feet got hot.  I am Ramona Quimby and I am no fireman.  Also, I need to go to bed now to repair the havoc these devil shoes wreaked on my poor old bones.  This pretty much sums up how I feel:

Mr. Grumpledump's Song

Everything's wrong,
Days are too long,
Sunshine's too hot,
Wind is too strong.
Clouds are too fluffy,
Grass is too green,
Ground is too dusty,
Sheets are too clean.
Stars are too twinkly,
Moon is too high,
Water's too drippy,
Sand is too dry.
Rocks are too heavy,
Feathers too light,
Kids are too noisy,
Shoes are too tight.
Folks are too happy,
Singin' their songs.
Why can't they see it?
Everything's wrong!

-Shel Silverstein