Cannibals and pineapples

Because it is Monday, and I think we all need a bit of a pick-me-up, I'm going to share my second favorite joke with you.  It goes like this:

There were three men who were lost in the jungle.  They were captured by cannibals.  The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a test.  The first part of the test was to go into the jungle and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explains the rest of the test to him: you have to shove all ten fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten.

The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the test to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out laughing and therefore also was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met up in heaven.  The first one said, "You almost made it.  Why did you laugh?"

The second one replied, "I couldn't help it.   I saw the third guy walking up with ten pineapples."

It's silly, but I can't help but giggle every time I read it.  Two things made me think of that joke.  One was that my roommate challenged me to write about pineapples, and the other was that I found an old email (yes, my favorite past time) with this poem attached:

Fork

by Charles Simic 

This strange thing must have crept
Right out of hell.
It resembles a bird’s foot
Worn around the cannibal’s neck.

As you hold it in your hand,
As you stab with it into a piece of meat,
It is possible to imagine the rest of the bird:
Its head which like your fist
Is large, bald, beakless and blind.


In the email, my friend said he thought of me as soon as he read it but that he wasn't sure what that said about me or him for that matter.  I think it says that I love a good cannibal joke. 

And in case you were wondering, my number one favorite joke goes, What did the fish say to the concrete wall? 


"Dam."