That'll teach me to avoid the whites.

Today I finally found the jeans I've been looking for!  And no, I wasn't shopping.  I had ordered 2 pairs of jeans off of a Groupon deal at the end of November.  I was pretty excited about them since they ended up being only $24 each, and I got in on the deal right before it expired.  The jeans took about a week to ship, but during that week we moved apartments and I went out of town.  My poor roommate was overwhelmed with everything going on, and, though she did tell me the jeans had arrived, she stashed them someplace so secure and secret that neither of us could figure out where they were once we started unpacking from the move.

Cut to: almost two months later.  Pretty much all the boxes have been unpacked.  The only ones left are the ones from the garage that are stacked in a storage closet.  I figured once I tackled those, surely I'd find the missing jeans package.  There was no where else to look!  So I thought.

Today I decided would be a good day to get some laundry done.  I was home when no one else in the building was, which meant no fighting over the one and only washer and dryer.  I was so optimistic about the amount of laundry I could do that I even tackled a load of whites.  I hate doing the whites because they're made up of a lot of little things like washcloths and socks and they're a pain to fold up and put away.  I'll usually do three loads of darks and towels before I'll get around to the dreaded whites.  Anyway, I schlepped my linen bag of white laundry out to the machine.  I unloaded everything into it and then I noticed a plastic bag at the bottom.  At first I thought it was a bag of dirty clothes that I had forgotten to unpack from a trip.  But then eureka!  It was the missing jeans!  So I guess sometimes adults still get rewards for doing chores?

This poem is not really related to any of the above, but it is kind of related to clothes, and I like it.

Old Coat

Dressed in an old coat I lumber
Down a street in the East Village, time itself

Whistling up my ass and looking to punish me
For all the undone business I have walked away from,

And I think I might have stayed
In that last tower by the ocean,

The one I built with my hands and furnished
Using funds which came to me at nightfall, in a windfall....

Just ahead of me, under the telephone wires
On this long lane of troubles, I notice a gathering

Of viciously insane criminals I'll have to pass
Getting to the end of this long block in eternity.

There's nothing between us. Good
I look so dangerous in this coat.

-Liam Rector