But the sauce brings the dish together!

My sister was in town over the weekend.  We didn't do much except eat food and hang out with old ladies we're related to.  Now every time someone comes over to my grandmother's house, she hands them this book about how to never be sick again.  She presented it separately to me and my mother.  Now it was my sister's turn.  At one point, my grandmother was watching football and I got up to take a phone call, so my sister was left with the book.  When I came back, she had sped-read half of it and glanced up only to inform me that eating protein and starches together will kill you and fruit should not be eaten with anything else or it will turn it into a toxin.  

 

My sister was totally into it.  She said in Italy this is why they have the pasta course separate from the meat course.  I was like, but how far apart do you have to eat them?  Is it 20 minutes like swimming?  Do I eat the gnocchi first or the chicken marsala?  Does that mean no tomato sauce?  She said she didn't know, but the tacos I ate at lunch were currently rotting in my intestines.  

Here is what else she told me:  Drinking non-organic coffee means I'm consuming 200 pesticides*, over-the-counter pain relievers like Advil are poisoning our bodies, and I'm not getting enough Vitamin D.  I refuted that last point.  I am nothing if not diligent about taking gummy multi-vitamins for adults every morning with my pesticide-ridden coffee.

 

I guess I am pretty resigned to the fact that everything good in life causes cancer, so the next time she visits me, I told her I'm making a four food group pilaf.

 

And because it's been a while since we had a limerick, here is one for my sister:

In restaurants, there's nary a clue
of the mine field on the menu.
But quarantining your meats
away from your wheats,
leaves your insides like new and not goo.

*This may be an exaggeration.  The pesticides are making my brain foggy.